Failure

 

Most kids are afraid to fail and, as parents and teachers, we naturally want our kids to

succeed. But failure is good and a crucial step on the path to learning?

Discussion questions for parents :

1) How will you treat your children when they fail in the exam?

2) How will you teach your children about life?

3 ) how do you teach about failure?

4) what is your opinion about failure?

5) If you hear about your neighbor s children failing, how would you react?

Do's

● Stop complaining

● Take responsibility

● Forgive yourself

● Celebrate the failure

● Debrief yourself

● Recommit yourself

● Create a new plan

● Reality-check your plan

● Teach your children sometimes It is good to fail .

● Only after losing do you enjoy victory.

Don't

● Don't laugh at failures

● Don't laugh your friends

● Don't laugh at anyone.

● Don't feel embarrassed

● Do not commit suicide

● Don't laugh at your neighbor's children if they fail.

● Don't get panic

1. Focus on Growth Mindset

We already know developing a growth mindset empowers kids. It also changes their reaction to

failure.

Failure is inevitable, but by focusing their attention on what went wrong and how they could fix

it, kids with growth mindsets were able to turn failures into positive learning experiences.

How do you stop failure?

● Ever tried

● accept how you feel

● Remember: you're not a failure just because you had a setback

● Be constructive and learn from this situation

● Remind yourself: anyone who wants to do things of value in life will fail

● Find inspiration and support from inspiration story

accept how you feel:

When you’ve just failed it will most likely hurt. Sometimes a bit. Sometimes a lot.

That’s OK.

Don’t try to push it away by distracting yourself or by trying to push the responsibility onto the

rest of the world (if you deep down know that this one’s on you partly or fully).

And don’t try to paint it over with a smile.

I’ve found that it works better to not let yourself be lead away by those options or impulses.

But to just be with what I’m thinking and feeling. To try to accept it, to let it in and to hurt for a

while instead of trying to reject it all and to keep it away.

Because when you let it in and accept it then it will go faster and in the long run be less painful

to process what has happened.

If you reject how you really feel then those emotions will pop up at unexpected times later on

and can make you moody, pessimistic, angry or sad.

2. Remember: you’re not a failure just because you had a setback.

When you’ve had a setback it’s very easy to start thinking that you will always keep failing in this

area of your life. It’s easy to start thinking that YOU are indeed a failure.

Don’t fall for such a destructive and sometimes seductive self-fulfilling prophecy.

Instead, remind yourself that:

Just because you failed today or yesterday doesn’t mean that you’ll fail the next time.

The truth is that this won’t last for the rest of your life if you keep moving forward, if you take

action and you keep learning and it doesn’t label you as some kind of failure (except if you

decide to create that label in your own head).

Seeing what’s negative as a temporary thing instead of something permanent is an essential

key to an optimistic attitude and to keep going forward in life.

3. Be constructive and learn from this situation.

See it more as valuable feedback and something you can use to improve rather than only a big

blow and setback.

I’ve found that the simplest and most helpful way to do that is to ask myself better questions

(instead of the common ones that send you off into a negative spiral).

What’s one thing I can learn from this?

How can I adjust my course to avoid this trap/making the same mistake and likely do better next

time?

What’s one thing I can differently the next time?

Take some time with these questions and be honest with yourself as you answer them.

There’s no rush and while some of the answers may be immediate others might take an hour,

day or even a week to pop up.

The important thing is to start thinking about the situation from this perspective and to be

constructive about things instead of getting stuck in denial or negativity and apathy.

4. Remind yourself: anyone who wants to do things of value in life will fail.

We often mostly just hear about people’s successes.

But the path to those milestones tends to have many setbacks. The story of someone’s success

may seem only bright and fast-moving in what's told in the media or we see in our minds.

5. Let it out into the light.

Another powerful way to handle the emotional fallout and the thoughts that come from a failure

is to not keep it all bottled up inside.

But to let it out into the light by talking it over with someone close to you.

By venting about it while the other person just listens you can sort things out for yourself, help

yourself to accept what happened instead of pushing it away and release that inner pressure.

By having a conversation about the situation you can see it from another perspective and

through someone else’s eyes.

This person can help you to ground yourself in reality again, to encourage and to perhaps even

to find a way forward.

6. Find inspiration and support from your world.

A conversation with someone close to you can be very helpful.

Another thing you can do is to learn from those who’ve gone where you want to go.

Read about how they handled setbacks and low-points before or during their success in books,

on websites or online forums.

Or you can simply tap into the enthusiasm or motivation of someone else by listening to a

podcast or audio book for maybe 30-60 minutes.

This may not be specifically about your current challenge but can help you to shift your mood

and mindset back towards optimism again.

7. Move forward again, don’t get stuck in mulling this situation over for too long.

Processing the situation and accepting it is essential.

But I know from experience that it’s also easy to get stuck in the same thoughts going around

and around for week or a month.

8. Take action on that plan right away after you’ve drawn it up.

The plan you come up with will just be a start. You can course-correct later on, along the way.

So you don’t have to make it perfect.

Trying to do that can sometimes just be a way to procrastinate because you fear failing again or

because it is hard to start moving after this rough and disorienting thing that happened to you.

Split your start of a plan up into small steps and then take action on just one of them.

If you still have a hard time to get going then go for a very small step, just 1-5 minutes of action

forward. The important thing is to get started and moving forward again so make that easy on

yourself.

9. Improve your self-esteem.

A last thing that has helped me in general to handle setbacks is to improve my self-esteem.

By doing so failures don’t become something that so easily drags me down and I recover more

quickly from them.

It also makes it easier to see what happened with more clarity and to take responsibility when I

am responsible but also to see when someone else is partly responsible or when I just had bad

luck that I could honestly not have predicted.

1. Selfishness

When you lack gratitude, you may find yourself thinking only of yourself. Your actions may be

more selfish. You may isolate yourself from those you love and care about because you only

see your needs. This action makes you more self-serving and living for the ego’s fulfillment

rather than feeling true selflessness and joy.

When you have others on your agenda, you are less alone and happier. You have support,

understanding, and compassion because you are also giving it. What you give comes back to

you, in some way. And that is enough.

If you partake in more selfless behavior and see those around you for what they’re worth, you

will be more prone to giving a helping hand. Then, you too will know that you’re not alone.

You have more reasons to live for. You have more people to share things with. You have goals

that may better serve the world.

2. Negative Emotions

It’s okay to feel negative from time to time. But when you are feeling that way most of the time,

you find yourself joyless and directionless. You lose sight of who you are and what you’re about.

Your aims become less about your needs and more about what others expect from you.

However, a simple act of appreciation can change the outcome of your life and emotional well-

being. You have feelings for a reason—they are meant to show you what you need. And if you

don’t listen to them, they become louder.

Maybe the lessons your emotions are trying to teach you is to stop chasing whatever comes

your way and see what you have. Appreciate how far you have come.

Mental health declines when you don’t live with gratitude. You may fall into a depression or find

yourself unhappy with what you have. You may be stressed, not living for the right things, or

feeling overwhelmed. You may see only your problems.

But if you choose gratitude, you also choose joy. You let in the positive and fix your focus. Your

gratitude is your natural mood booster. When you see what you have, you decide to stay. You

decide to keep fighting for yourself. You have a healthier attitude and way of being. This helps

you overall.

This can aid with depression. This can aid with anxiety, worry, stress, and anger. You can take

a step back and go, “Okay, this is what is good.” That is all you need to do to turn the situation around.

Then, you have that good with you in your heart when you make decisions. You look up with

more optimism and feel lighter. You don’t have to carry everything that you’ve been carrying.

Sometimes, it feels good to set it down and see what’s most important.

Children and familial, digital connection

Parents often struggle to balance familial and digital connections, and they can face a constant battle trying to limit their child’s screen time. The importance of parental technological monitoring is only heightened by evidence such as the link between handheld screen time and speech delays in young children, the connection between mobile device addiction and depression and anxiety in college-age students, and the association between exposure to smartphone screens and lower sleep quality.

Regulating children’s screen time can often be a challenge for parents.

However, screen time for kids is not all bad. Research examining more than 120,000 adolescents found that evidence linking the relationship between screen time and well-being is weak at best, even at the highest levels of engagement. The findings, published in Psychological Science, suggest that moderate screen use has no effect on the well-being of teenagers.

What is more, a study published in Psychiatric Quarterly found only a small association between excessive screen time and levels of teenage depression and delinquency.

With the ever-increasing popularity of health apps on smartphones, depression, stress, worry, and a lack of sleep can all begin to be tackled in the same amount of time as it takes to locate a good restaurant.

Millions of people experience psychological distress and fail to pursue or receive help from mental health services. Given this disparity between need and accessibility of services, smartphone apps could help to provide affordable and engaging treatment strategies.

Video gaming and aggression

Video gaming is another area that has gained a bad reputation, with some research suggesting a link between video games and violence. However, a study published in the Journal of Communication found no such link between aggression observed in movies and video games, and real life violence.

Video game use is not associated with violence in the real world.

“Society has a limited amount of resources and attention to devote to the problem of reducing crime,” “There is a risk that identifying the wrong problem, such as media violence, may distract society from more pressing concerns such as poverty, education, and vocational disparities and mental health.”

“If these adolescents are sitting around playing games together with their friends or chatting regularly with their friends online as they play, this could be part of a perfectly normal developmental pattern. We shouldn’t assume all of them have a problem.”

Despite the potential risks to mental health, trends over the past decade show that use of technology and social media is increasing, so these problems are not likely to disappear anytime soon, with habits unlikely to change.

Furthermore, as connectivity continues to weave its way through every aspect of our work, home, and social lives, the answer may not lie in reducing our time using these channels or being able to disconnect at the flick of a switch – especially since Internet withdrawal has been linked with increased heart rate and blood pressure.

A study of 12 million Facebook users found that using the social media site is associated with living longer. However, this correlation only exists when Facebook serves to maintain and enhance our social ties in real life.

Modern life may increase the risk of some physical and mental health problems, but striking a balance between online and real-world social relationships, going forward, may help to keep our mental health in check.

How modern life affects our physical and mental health.

                                                                   

   Modern day living is a multifaceted compendium of evolving technology and social media. Communication outlets are changing every part of our lives so rapidly that it can be tough to adjust. Are technology and media affecting our physical and mental health?

The technological and social media advances of the past decade have taken over our lives. Do they affect our physical and mental health?

Technology has improved the lives of many people, with almost half of adults in the United States unable to imagine life without their smartphone.

The American Psychological Association’s Stress in America Survey 2017 shows that 99 percent of adults own an electronic device, around 86 percent own a computer, 74 percent own a smartphone, and 55 percent own a tablet.

The survey also reports that between 2005 and 2015, the percentage of adults using social media skyrocketed from 7 percent to 65 percent, with usage rates of young adults aged between 18 and 29 increasing from 12 percent to 90 percent in that period.

Rates of technology and social media use are therefore swiftly climbing. Facebook and Instagram alone boast a combined monthly user base of 2 billion people.

Recent research by The Associated Press-NORC Center for Public Affairs Research found that teenagers aged 13 to 17 years old have shifted their preferred social media platforms and are now most likely to use Snapchat and Instagram.

Key findings of the survey included the fact that around 76 percent of teenagers use Instagram, 75 percent use Snapchat, 66 percent use Facebook, 47 percent use Twitter, and fewer than 30 percent use Tumblr, Twitch, or LinkedIn.

They also found that although 91 percent of teens use regular text messaging, 40 percent also use messaging apps such as WhatsApp, Kik, or Line.

Social media and text messaging have become an integral part of how individuals interact with their social groups. In fact, for many teenagers and young adults, text messaging and social media communication is now more likely than in-person interactions.

The emergence of the ‘constant checker’

The technological and social media advances of the past decade have bred the “constant checker.” A constant checker is a person who constantly, almost obsessively, checks their emails, texts, and social media accounts. This profile is synonymous with 43 percent of U.S. individuals.

Constant checkers repeatedly check their text messages, emails, and social media.

Being continuously connected in this way has been linked with higher stress levels. Moreover, 18 percent of individuals have identified technology use as a significant source of stress.

On an average day in the U.S., 65 percent of adults constantly check personal email, 52 percent and 44 percent check texts and social media, respectively, and 28 percent say the same about work emails.

Stress levels among constant checkers are considerably higher than they are among people who do not engage with technology and social media as frequently.

For example, 42 percent of constant checkers worry about the effect of social media on their physical and mental health, compared with 27 percent of non-constant checkers.

Furthermore, as a result of technology, more constant checkers than non-constant checkers feel disconnected from their family, even when they are in the same room, and more than one third of constant checkers say that they are unlikely to meet with friends and family in person due to social media.

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Digital connectivity and well-being

While many people strongly agree that unplugging or taking a digital detox now and then is important for mental health, in reality, only 28 percent of those people periodically switch off from technology.

Using social media for extended periods is associated with depression.

Across the generations, 48 percent of Millennials, 37 percent of Gen Xers, 22 percent of Boomers, and 15 percent of Matures are worried about the negative effects of social media on their physical and mental health.

Interactions on social media can have a major impact on an individual’s well-being and satisfaction. Many studies have observed that more time spent on social media is associated with an increased risk of loneliness and depression, which poses the question: are unhappy people using social media, or does social media use affect happiness?

Happiness

A recent study led by researchers at Indiana University explored the so-called friendship paradox experienced by users of social media. The friendship paradox finds that, on average, most people are less popular than their friends on social media, which may lead to reduced happiness.

“This study suggests that happiness is correlated with popularity, and also that the majority of people on social networks aren’t as happy as their friends due to this correlation between friendship and popularity.”

Overall, the research found that users of social media might experience increased levels of social dissatisfaction and unhappiness as a result of comparing their happiness and popularity to that of their friends.

“Happy social media users may think their friends are more popular and slightly happier than they are – and unhappy social media users will likely have unhappy friends who still seem happier and more popular than they are on average,” Prof. Bollen explained.

Isolation

The amount of time spent on social media could also affect mental health. National analysis led by scientists at the University of Pittsburgh School of Medicine (Pitt) in Pennsylvania suggests that the more time that adults aged 19 to 32 spend using social media, the more likely they are to be socially isolated.

“We are inherently social creatures, but modern life tends to compartmentalize us instead of bringing us together. While it may seem that social media presents opportunities to fill that social void, I think this study suggests that it may not be the solution people were hoping for.”

Depression

In another study conducted by Pitt’s School of Medicine, it was also found that spending extended periods on social media is associated with depression in young adults. Compared with people who checked social media less frequently, frequent checkers were 2.7 times more likely to develop depression. More than a quarter of study participants were classified as having high indicators of depression.

Likewise, settling in for a marathon binge-watching session of your favorite television show has been related to fatigue, obesity, loneliness, and depression.

However, research published in Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking says that you do not have to quit social media altogether; simply changing your behavior on social networking sites and taking an occasional break may help to lift your spirits.